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Collaborative Divorce
“I have been frustrated with the “litigation” model and the methods we use to process divorce for 25 years. I have told my clients that so
far as I could tell, “being divorced seems to be fine, but GETTING divorced is horrible!” It’s the process that creates the disaster known as “divorce.”
Throughout the country when the Collaborative model is used for divorce and other family law matters, the experience has been that the clients are
indeed divorced with dignity AND the cost to the clients are about 1/3 the expense of going through a typical litigated divorce. Not only that, as parents, you will indeed retain enough of your
relationship that you will “be able to dance at your daughter’s (son’s) wedding.”
This section is designed to help potential clients better understand the many benefits of Collaborative divorce, as opposed to the more common
litigated divorce. Key benefits include avoiding many of the financial and emotional costs that are associated with standard divorce.
Please review the following information, some of which is excerpted above, then give me a call at 251-4400 to discuss your specific situation.”
I have received training sponsored by State Bar of Wisconsin and The Collaborative Family Law Council of Wisconsin, Inc. (CFLCW), of which I am a member.
In order to be a member of the CFLCW, any attorney must be licensed to practice law in Wisconsin, have malpractice insurance, attend at least one
training in Collaborative Law, sign a commitment to the PRINCIPLES AND GUIDELINES FOR THE PRACTICE OF COLLABORATIVE LAW adopted by the organization and pay a substantial initiation fee.
In addition to my commitment to the principles of Collaborative Family Law, I have joined the Dane County Chapter of the Collaborative Family Law Council, and
the Dane County Association of Collaborative Lawyers.
I’ve attached the Principles and Guidelines For the Practice of Collaborative Law as published by CFLCW for its members.
I’ve also included answers to the following frequently asked questions regarding collaborative law to help potential clients better understand the process.
Bob Ramsdell’s Thoughts on Divorce...
I have litigated divorces since 1974. For over 25 years, I’ve been preaching to my clients that when the case is over, they need to still
have some semblance of cordial relations with the former spouse, who is typically the other parent to their children. “You’ll be going to confirmations, graduations and weddings: You’ll be sharing
grandchildren. This ANGER has got to stop.” You know what’s odd: The people that got along the best after being divorced typically didn’t have any children! It’s the children that
suffer the most.
I have been frustrated with the “litigation” model and the methods we use to process divorce for 25 years. I have told my clients that so
far as I could tell, “being divorced seems to be fine, but GETTING divorced is horrible!” It’s the process that creates the disaster known as “divorce.”
The PROCESS of contested hearings with vigorous cross-examination, the discovery, the hate letters between counsel, causes the polarization of our
clients. It isn’t the lawyers that cause that, it’s the system that we’re forced to use. The system estranges parents from each other and from their children. The children are caught in the
middle and powerlessly stand by as Mom and Dad spend the college funds on lawyers and expert witnesses all in preparation for that awful day in court when they’ll try to make each other look as bad and evil as
possible.
The process of divorce is emotionally and financially devastating to the parents, the children, the family and the professionals. It can
literally bankrupt the people involved.
THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY…and there is!
“Divorce is a problem to be solved, not a battle to be won.”
Karen Fagerstrom, PhD
Psychologist, Berkeley, CA
Collaborative Divorce Counselor
Battles mean the shedding of blood. Take the Bloodshed out of divorce! The anguish of the dissolving of a marriage is bad enough
without compounding the anguish with the horrible cost in “blood and treasure” that a typical divorce can bring to a family.
Throughout the country (and Canada!) when the Collaborative model is used for divorce and other family law matters, the experience has been that
the clients are indeed divorced with dignity AND the cost to the clients is about 1/3 the expense of going through a typical litigated divorce. Not only that, but as parents, you will indeed retain enough of
your relationship that you will “be able to dance at your daughter’s (son’s) wedding.”
HOW DOES THIS WORK?
In the “collaborative” process, both parties to a divorce or other family law dispute have their own attorney to explain the law to them and
assist them with negotiations. Both the parties and the attorneys are committed to resolving the case without
resorting to any CONTESTED hearings. If either side wants to “have their day in court” then both attorneys are required by the Collaborative Law Contract to withdraw from the case. The result of the “collaborative” process is the parties save themselves much of the emotional and financial distress (“blood and treasure”) that goes with the typical “litigation” model for divorce. The cases are handled faster. Most of the work is done in 4-way meetings with the lawyers and the clients. The exchange of information (“discovery”) is informal. There is no “hate” mail. The fact that both parties have skilled, trained and committed Collaborative Lawyers means that any power imbalances between the parties are evened out. The parties can rely on the advice of their respective advocates. They can have confidence that they are being treated fairly.
Is this system perfect? Of course not! If someone is going to be deceitful, they’ll lie no matter the setting. This system might not be
able to protect you from a lying spouse. However, if the attorney for that liar realizes what’s going on, that attorney must
withdraw from the case. If an attorney practices deceit, that person will be out of the collaborative law business in a heartbeat and reported to the state agency that disciplines lawyers. There is no room in this profession for deceit when dealing with others. Our Code of Ethics says so and the law says so and the Principles and Guidelines of Collaborative Law say so.
I’ve attached the Principles and Guidelines For the Practice of Collaborative Law as published by CFLCW for its members.
For more, please call me at (608) 251-4400 or see the website of CFLCW at www.collabdivorce.com or call CFLCW at our toll free number 1-888-265-5529.
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